1. |
Another Day (Intro)
05:12
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Just some thoughts to ease the pressure. One drop means very little to the ocean, and it is only by accepting the ocean does the drop become liberated from the fear it feels for the largeness of this ocean and becomes sheltered by the warm feeling of the infinite. Nobody cares about you can be a comforting thought when you're anxious. Nobody thinks about you can be a comforting thought when you're paranoid. We are curious characters scared of both being finite, and infinite. Being one doesn’t deny the right to enjoy the fall, try your best but let it go. You didn’t ruin anybodies day, nobody cares. That’s ridiculous, that’s my arrogance showing, and I know it but the reality is I worry so much what other people think about me sometimes that I forget to enjoy the way that I shine the way I did when I was still learning how to love me but felt ugly. Because when I need it I always gave it to me, I think it means that I’m growing. See that’s the funny thing about growth is you know when your reeling in a big fish, and you think this time I can really eat forever, but it too passes. And you have to sit with the things that never change, one step closer to removing all of the baggage and being formless. Like the rain drop in the ocean. Oh I know, I know nothing. But I also know everything. I been dreaming again vividly, and sometimes I have to give it to me, seriously. I’m doing so well and I care and I’m fair and I clear the air when there’s still left to share in the air and you didn’t try to suffocate me. I’ve had enough of me, rejecting my big mouth because of what people may think of me I have lot to say but I wouldn’t write it all down. We don’t really wanna call out every scuff in our past now do we. I try to stay between buoys but I too am stuck wrestling with the weights of society, the human condition, but listen humans above all else have learned to evolve due to instinct, and this facade can be at any time lifted. Without electricity what would happen to the village you live in? And mother nature is livid, we could all be completely displaced at any instant. You want to believe that there is no fragility in this world but it is mostly cold chords strike and you have look to find the bright ones. So we slowly choose this illusion and became slaves to the screen, and I don’t hate technology I just think there’s a difference between using a tool and being completely reliant. And we are at the point now where we have made human intelligence artificial and praise artificial intelligence. I think the things that the Americans value are contrarian to American values and Id like to know why you think this happening. I feel like I am watching water boil over from inside the kettle. We are searching desperately for merit in the ether because we wish to rejoin the ocean while we are still are still steam. Screaming, please please to the little ghost in me which somehow always knew the way home even when I wanted to pretend I couldn't hear him. So scared of a madness that was never really madness afterall…. I avoided any circumstance which might force me to be more than just robust, though. To have a little bit of gusto and to muster up the courage to stop blundering about nothing and to really just leap. To get the fuck out of dodge, and see where you’re gonna go when you’re the only one stopping you. This is me getting the fuck out of town. I hope you enjoy the ride as much as I am.
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2. |
Away King Dreams
04:32
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He was asleep
no uhh
waking wave found him thanking his breath not for breaking
He was mistaken, Hed awaken to his heart beats quaking
And he would always dream lucid, but couldnt really do it
when it came to driving or fighting or thriving.
There was a dissociation that made him impatient.
Still he was answering questions, learning lessons
from the chilled side of the pillow.
In a deeper state of awake than he ever felt waking.
thats just the way kings dream
but he was never really king of anything.
Only provinces of consciousness.
So he could never fall back on his accomplishments
he never ratified or abolished what was wrong to him
still, liars all admired..... held no candles to his promises.
And they were watching him, because something wasn't right
Was he asleep?
(Its my time)
He called it meditation but how can you meditate from day in to day end.
And then again when the days bend into darkness
Some seen him scheming in the night
and when the moon was just right man he really came to life.
Thriving on the coming winter like an ice king,
he felt just as frightened by the way the crown tightened.
Because not all sensed presences are benevolent, even in his presence
It implied a constant question
asleep as in waking, as in work, and in meditation
About what feelings you choose to let in
and he let them get him, All of em
and then he sat them down for tea and he pleaded.
Please ring then bell for me.
So Dont wait for time
Because you wont find time
and youll waste my time
you have to make time
So never mind my never-mind, nevermind.
never mind my never-mind, never mine. (…)
but
he never acted like he knew it more,
he'd hold the door, he smoked he swore
he snored, He scored the least aboard
he had a hundred vices more
than half the other men next door
and hed been friends with men that men would call degenerate.
And you could never read his penmanship
even when he read it.
So what was it?
He was genuine.
And while we were in some constant pissing contest
He was away on some king dreams
No, waaaking dream.
And the way kings dream, life is just sleeping.
And when your sleeping
is your time ever really fleeting?
No
more when you wake up to that beeping.
And you think If I could just sleep in.
But what if all was all a dream then.
Damn that would be the real thing.
So Dont wait for time
Because you wont find time
While you wait for time
you have to make time
you have to make time
So never mind my never-mind, nevermind.
never mind my never-mind, never mine. (…)
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3. |
The Mess of it
03:51
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I am not slave to these nuances of comfort
humans have drawn lines between everything.
We make distinctions
this is this and that is that
we have this many thats of this and so forth
Deep down we all rely on the mess of it.
The mess which we have swept under the rug
and what we've done is create a society
where self is slave to the image of society
As a whole, as a friend, as a lover
As a brother or a sister
or a mother or a father
how do we encourage self expression?
Quite simply the only reason we are here is to express our individuality
to burn out on the fuel that makes you unique
so it is very sad to see the distinctions poison the minds
of supposed free thinkers. Lost to the confines of expectations
And it is no-ones fault as our communal instinct is what has taken us to this place.
All of us crowd around the fire and burn self to define
community, humanity.
We have thus succeeded in creating enough resources that all could live in comfort
without restraint
But the distinctions which have brought us here have made us bitter
we have placed every individual on the frame
Keeping polished, some idea of us.
A feedback loop of the blind leading the blind.
The historical, personal, and cultural observations
even scientific in fact lead me to believe that true growth
will only be sustained through destruction.
For the same reason that all religions discuss massive floods and the coming of the apocalypse in the rage of wild fire
It is the unfortunate discourse of life to implode on itself,
Because it is not necessary, did you hear that?
It is not necessary.
Light does not increase its frequency without decreasing its wavelength
Isolation is the seemingly easiest way to focus,
to hone in like a laser on an image.
But in fact we need consensus.
You can crumble every ivory tower, you can smother all clad artifacts in ash and worship only nude idols adorned in truth, but the energy will not dissipate. It is essential to the degree that we are to reach a higher elevation that we are in this as one.
In the same way that you must forgive the anxious and depressed parts of you which have belittled your foreground of self. So too must you forgive all men, as they are just as much a part of that singular system as you are. We need to realize that there is no healing in severance without loss. This is not religious doctrine, but science, truth rooted in observation and experimentation and careful and thorough examination.
These lines do not exist ladies and gentlemen.
We are falling through these imaginary cracks
because although they are false they can still hurt you
do not under-estimate the forces of ill-will.
These forms we call evil, truly negligent and inescapably self harming.
And all we can do is love
Love when we are beaten and love when we are lost.
Time and time again my head and my heart have led me to this inconvenient truth
Because it is much more difficult as an individual
and I'm not saying that spirituality requires a uniformity of kindness
But it is easier as a whole.
If I could shake the lens and distort the image to craft a new perspective I would
But I have only led myself to strife with my sword in the sky, and I no longer want the reigns of the fighter. I will accept my bias of arrogance in that regard and aim to do the only thing we can do to repaint our world as we see fit. I will spread love when I can and thread spider silk amongst all of us, creating an annex of ether which forces the user to believe what they can see
in their own breath.
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4. |
Fabricated Flight (1/10)
07:11
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What do you wanna fly?
Fuck manners I’ve waited my turn.
No instructions so how could you learn.
I will drape myself in this weight like a lead cape.
Steel skin rusting, fussing is part of the art.
I put myself together by first falling apart.
And my attentions been of the charts.
Honing in on that bullseye like throwing a dart.
Which states of the art? Because I’ll move there happily.
And watch that whole world trail on after me.
(Because I’m mad zen baby nine times out of ten, but 1/10ths still 3 days a month that it all comes un-done and I let my mouth run.
Some guys trust the guise of the blue skies
Some folks only focus on the on their dead hopes. While I?
Man, I strive for that Icarus kiss of the sky if I could fly for a moment in time then Its fine…And I don’t give a fuck how Peter Brugheul paints me.)
At least I made wings y’all didn’t make anything. I guess that was Daedalus, I asked my dad he just told me to snap out of it. Because he’s seen me like this before sure. In all types of light but even In the light of love I’m still the writing type Im still the fighting type but see I put my fist down now I don’t care if you don’t like my type.
Because
Your blanket statements won’t keep you warm.
The humans being man thats just a form
These prescriptions won’t cure the symptoms
When some addictions are to the core
There’s gotta be more(x4)
So I move on down the coast just to b-more
And it’s gonna be so so raven
But I’m more of a crow yo with my flow yo so cloaked like Frodo I’m baggin it up…
and I’m backing it up in my off-road sport LE.
That’s a joke you wouldn’t get unless you know me personally and personally
I think the measure of a man is what his word can reach.
True liberation through a verb curved purposely.
Cursing or cussing I’m telling you something.
It’s like somebody took the lid off of my hip hop.
And while I’m mad zen …
maybe nine times out of ten, but 1/10ths still 3 days a month where it all comes undone and I let my mouth run.
Some guys trust the guise of the blue skies
Some folks only focus on the on their dead hopes. While I?
Man, I strive for that Icarus kiss of the sky if I could fly for a moment in time then Its fine…And I don’t give a fuck how peter Brugheul paints me.)
And for what?
me and my beats will become more abstract.
No tempo no track no keys and no snaps.
Forgive me I don’t fix my MIDI.
I let the track the stand.
I think inflection is important,
some samples imported but always distorted and filtered or kiltered and everything’s free.
I’m tryna show you how it feels to have steel wings strapped to a feather weight.
Tell me don’t jump. I’m too stubborn for your better way.
Never crushed like a rubber man.
I’m luffy or luffy aloof but you’ll love me. And either way I’m in one piece.
The sea is so vast and fabricated But as it ripples and rides
I don’t worship the waves man I worship tides
And as they’re passing me by
I don’t worship these ships but I worship the size
And the keels
hold it together man hold it together man.
So far, from typical thoughts have spawn pitiful. I believe in my core, endured principles.
And yo it’s funny, because I don’t care about the money.
But understand that demanding respect.
Often translates to the size of your check.
To that I effect I’ll never break my neck
except for natures debt, which I accept.
I feel truly indebted to.
Thank the world which has raised fed, bedded and embedded me.
I just really want to be influential, essentially essential to the world through intention.
through papers, inventions and honorable mentions.
Man of the Renaissance, or at least to that effect, read aloud in my epitaph.
Man I can’t help but laugh when I think of that. It makes me happy in a deep place.
So you can save face, it’s true that I take hate graciously. Try to keep pace with me and you’ll find your mind hating me.
But I accept love spaciously and patiently.
When I say stay with me, I mean mentally mystically & spiritually artistically,
I don’t give a shit about visually or sexually.
So perplexed by me you’ll feel detest for me.
Even the lift of flight comes off that downward push and look.
I would risk my life, absorb spite in this dormant light.
For just a second at the northern lights.
Because even through the quirks and the irksome.
Even through the filth and the boredom.
Even through the hate and and rejection despite the infection.
And all these irrational assholes, tangled in their own awareness. I don’t care it’s.
Still so beautiful to be alive.
So that’s why I’m done trusting majority because it occurred to me falling from the sky that this was all I’d ever really wanted But I still didn’t see me going out like this.
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5. |
Blundering
04:08
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And while im still anxious I should give thanks
Just made it to the middle class and
Used to being bankrupt
But I wonder with my banks up will I still fuss?
Or will I realize that that water rising breeds the life we see that made us?
See I don’t wanna be famous man I just wanna watch the righteous pull the strings.
So I threw out all my romance novels and my dreams
I threw away the diamonds
I threw away the bling
Stopped fucking myself , I threw away the cream
Because cash will not rule me
I’m my own being,
From first scene to last scene and
Everlasting.
You think you’re so smart man well I’ve been fasting
So your food is gone while my food is lasting.
What happened, you never learned to ration?
NO being in that ship alone did not make you the captain
You’re in for it now.
Clinging to the bow while the waves steady crash in.
Turn to the stern but the stern folks cashed in ages ago
You figured youd surpassed him
Isnt it so?
But didn’t you know?
The heart of this world is indivisible yo
Even the miserable know that just an instant of growth
Has the power and discretion to turn your friend to a foe
So im still anxious I should give thanks
Just made it to the middle class and
Used to being bankrupt
But I wonder with my banks up will I Still fuss?
Or will I realize that that water rising breeds the life we see that made us?
See I don’t wanna be loved man,
Because what is love anyway
But a feeling that we cling to keep the end away
The way the vinyl on the needle grabs a scratch
We grab a hold of those words
I’m never changing the track.
So is it truly all this awful are we trapped like a rat?
Or were we free from the jump but strapped the world to our back, see
Now ive been tryna get my hand on all these plans, and just to manage
I found that I’ve been saying god damn it
Because I didn’t ever want to be a member of this planet
So I don’t understand when people look at me as standard.
Those words you thought were candid they landed feeling rancid
(that shits rancid)
Yo it all worked out though its just not the way you planned it
Because when you take that love for granted
You end up upper handed and damn
I still love to hear the truth ring out tho
No that’s my fucking anthem
Because its more than white noise boys because that shits fucking random
Look…
You can catch me tandem with phantoms
Got hooks so good you think im boxing when I land them
Or im a fisherman, Im so official man
I get it done until its done
Then its over
Man Ive been lucky since my for leaf clover,
Don’t get me wrong.
Ill be lucky until im dead and gone
But I could never find the words for this silly hurt.
And I could never find a home in the city burbs
Its so absurd
Im a city bird
You can catch me flying high from the curb
Off my spoken word
Word? (Word) Word
But if you ever said my heart wasn’t heavy
That my art hasn’t led me
that my shoulders weren’t steady
and my pardons weren’t levied
Then forget me yo
You never met me
Ive had so many fake friends that break bread
They take their whole half and ask for my end
That aint even a metaphor, yall gluttonous.
You wanna take a good thing and punish it? (Nah)
You wanna see where that goes I’ll run with it
But don’t be surprised when I completely sunder it I don’t just get over I get up and under it
So get that idea out your head of me blundering
Man who am I? To act so righteous
I try to keep my mouth shut my mind don’t like it
When I writes like the light to lightning
you can look around the world
you wont find none like him
So why’m I….
still anxious I should give thanks
Just made it to the middle class and
Used to being bankrupt
But I wonder with my banks up will I still fuss?
Or will I realize that that water rising breeds the life we see that made us?
See I don’t wanna be understood.
As if you watching the cogs might make that shit turn good…
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6. |
American Values
03:29
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Whats the Agenda and whos setting it.
we have had centuries for values of remembrance.
Remember when we said that slavery was detriment
or when we raised the stars and stripes to say no kings again.
I think theres something really lovely about the sentiment,
Anything is possible when youre nothing but american
I saw the dollar buy the crown, and fill universities with millennials
but note intelligence at museums, and shows and festivals
Every answer to a test in text just a look in to the backs of the book.
The school is for the crooks, but those who opt out get the dirty looks.
I think that we should be accepting of simplicity.
and I have two degrees but that has more to do with me
I choose to chase my tail thats how I graze the mountainside
Why is it so complicated for a human being to stay alive.
Now we are drowning in these papers and expediencies.
And all our debt and our regret for social tendencies.
When truly all you gotta do is just to grow to eat.
Why with so much to give do only businessmen get seats.
Im not a socialist, Im not a capitalist, Im a culturist, and vocalist.
i think its all a hoax a joke you let them rope you in.
We have enough for every child to be fed and taught, the textbooks bought, all safe with locks two hots and a cots, but we dont and why not?
We keep the broth at the top and the trickle downs the law as if economics have any promise and whats so wrong is in this picture all these men who cite their scriptures, are the last to understand the nature of a man and the connection to his spirit.
They talk of gods love and say they hear it but they dont because if they did theyd know that the true nature of the mystic is simplistic it is love in every instance, and it compassion and forgiveness. Its never this is mine I earned it.
You didnt earn shit
you adsorbed it and you hoard it and you fuck it like a whore..
sick to your stomach when you finally hear the train a rumbling because you hold these truths self evident dont you? Wont you regret it when your God reads you your message?
Politics cant save us. revolutions are always grassroot because the culture has to change.
And its not about the figureheads because real change is made at home, its about who you let in. Its about who you choose to live with, not just physically but mentally.
Theres an entire side to this story that you havent ever heard and thats absurd you've got some nerve, thinking that you honestly deserve any chance thats been unearthed.
When the thing about worth is that its measured in words.
And no matter how many decimal points you see in that account it will count for nothing when its said and done.
And you will be another lost sapling in the breeze.
Assholes dont fall far from their money trees.
And there are real vulnerabilities in this lack of balance. you cant just say that theres a chance but some lack talent.
When some people never even had the access. And you act as if it all was laid out in perfect harmony.
Swap shoes and ask whose the real man when you spent a month In that state of neglect, and resurrect your expectations for the nation.
The disenfranchised have been patient and I think its time the illustrations which made the King famous come to fruition.
But Its not just about race, its about racing
when the bounties in our faces and weve come so far along
why now do we care more about the famous than ourselves in many cases.
And in many cases let beautiful selves be shelved while we steer the helm
Far far from the course of north.
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7. |
Artificial Intelligence
05:29
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Life energy from light to electrons
Photosynthesis and electromagnetivity
Maybe we could simulate it all artificially
Computer science can be really fucking interesting.
Even from my point of view where everything
Is spiritually interrelated
I should save it for my patience has run paper thin
Only poetry and C++ can say everything
And the simulation wouldn’t really change anything
The very nature of our nature is poetic
Propagation of human error, we could never forget it
So I don’t get it what are we after, afterall
When the blood moon rises and we colonize mars.
Will we be lost without earth or home among stars
All boisterous voice and human lards
But when somebody needs help nobody gets involved
All problems and no solutions and no resolve
Until that chest sets off like a Molotov
So its fuck free speech and feed on the tv
Cynically I’m sick of all these sycophants
Typically I’m high strung when somebody loves to play the victim
And there’s nothing more important to me than free speech
This will be the tide shift of our lifetime
Can anxiety overcome our desire for privacy?
To me any breach on free speech is detrimental to humanity
Free expression is the staple of humanity
Its just insanity
Ill be damned before I see the day we lose our voice and recreate it artificially
Let them hate you
But never control you
Or force you into submission
Computers weren’t born to learn and that’s the difference
Human life shouldn’t really be codified
And human misery should never be synthesized, simplified cauterized
Its hard at times to sympathize
But try to find symmetry, Like mathematicians
If we see things algorithmically
Only then can we ferment our honesty.
And I lost a lot of friends to that honesty and obviously
It hurt when people shit on me
But you wont see me ever lose me positivity
So go
Get pissed at me I see things differently
I know these thoughts were never born artificially
And I don’t need a friend thats only friends when I bend the knee
Ill keep my head up
I’m headstrong
You wont define me by the words that ive said wrong
Out of context
People are complex
Theres way to much too digest
So I suggest before you bypass a gentlemen
You take the time to actually try to make sense of him
Because if we cant even stand to have hard conversations.
Then humans right to speak is gone
Robots replaced them
So who will run the show
The interface is inconsistent (TIME)
Which in this instant can be proportioned into infinite intervals
If human beings have been cause of mass extinction
then humans lacks compassion for the outer works
Co-existing in our world is to be outed first.
Its in our gut to try to build a castle from the till.
Still
Being captured by the captions of a wayward hill
The thrill of filling earthly pleasures
Is a weathered silk
We have to get there to realize that there’s naught there
And while youre not their we can only feel the hot air
Filling the room.
We have overcome kingdoms with wisdom
But at the same time we have heightened our worst symptoms
We took science and stripped confused folks of their right to faith
Its all a charade anyway and even science cant explain
To fill this lack of concrete understanding
Human beings have made religious, social standings
So landing on your feet’s become impossible.
We’re all victims lets destroy the every obstacle
Well what we want is still impossible
Utopia, Man I hope you understand thats artificial
Take it from a man whos in the middle and been whittled down
Family is first
Make a family of the earth
And we may just lift this curse
And Fuck it I’ll curse
My words can sure get a lot worse
I don’t carry dead weight like a hearse
I could never make art like yours
But you may never tether into understanding mine
And that’s fine
Ive been living with this notion since my consciousness first came to life
Like a robot booting up, scripted
Shit kicked out of me to get the boot enough
Same boots which pulled me up
Pooled the blood
Ive been the fool enough to fuel enough shrugs
To finally find love in my own cup
Yall spend your whole life only looking for a one up or a hookup
But it’s a me yo
Mario
Bowser is the browser
Searching for your porn you’ve lost peach
And all innocence is dwindling
Kids that think differently
Were filling em with Ritalin
We replaced half the states work force with computers
Shorten the work week and find me a quirky robot slut that I can fuck
Computer code for my best love
What we really lack is gratitude
All processed like fastest food
But don’t chew it you might as well insert it anally
we wanna make it one flavor
because we cant believe our neighbor doesn’t cater to our nature.
The cure to all the haters isn’t opening the world to all invaders
or shutting down the right to think.
You have the right to think
and be wrong and fall down and get up and isn’t that good enough??
Id rather arguer for an eternity than have a world that’s all labels for the thought that don’t occur to me. Or hes wrong and shes racist and that snowflake and their faceless.
Cancel em
What ever happened to the individual?
Is that just a principle at long last we uploaded to the world wide web.
What are you afraid of love ?
Is it love?
Is it watching everything you know crushed?
Is it rust is it the breakdown of the trust?
I had a dream that thsse robots called me “one of us”
I called bullshit but he showed me how he flowed with me in poetry I trust.
It seems to me that humanity is lost in most of us
And I cant explain how we are something out of nothing in this multiverse
So maybe true consciousness could be birthed artificially
And how would that be so very different than us?
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8. |
Oyounghost
15:00
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9. |
Participation
05:36
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What a cold dark world that we live in nowadays
Hate shame fear and rage
Sometimes it feels as though all reside to scream into their personal megaphone
Reasonable folk would rather not participate in this discourse and those who do
Feel the tug of polarization
Being told some ideas have, no middle ground
True
But the fact of the matter is that when an idea dies
It always makes one last hoorah
Taking with it so much life
Which leaves this world like the death of the star
So I am hopeful for the collapse of certain talking points.
I hope to one day see even myself in the way
That I know I deserve to be seen
I hope to weigh more heavily
The circumstances and the consequences of speaking energy into a room
Where the notion has no commonplace
Even if it is not mine but it is present
Sometimes it really is better to be quiet
I guess I always believed that you shouldn’t let sleeping dogs lie
But that you should wake them up, teach that old dog one last trick
So you never have to wonder if he’ll awaken
In fact you could have a new friend
A homie to take walks with or whatever…
But what I never really realized is that sometimes the shift is too drastic
Throat served truth in a haze of viciousness
Reached no man, child, or woman
If you want someone to hear you
You need to speak
To them
It sounds so obvious as I say it
but often in my life I have served as a catalyst for a problem
because I resented the very notion
of its existence
and I guess I just figured
who better to handle it
my heart is so goddamn big anyway
If I am gonna feel like this
I oughta be all in
Who better?
Listen when it comes to matters of self I’ve always known that answer from the jump was just the world.
But when it comes to others I feel the need to impress myself onto you.
I am very sorry for anyone I hurt with my big mouth
I was just riffing and I say a lot of stupid things
I just love speaking
I hope to one day learn to participate fluently
To step back when I know my message wont reach and to listen
Sometimes it says more to stay quiet you see,
Because then you are expressing something people always hear
That I hear you
Many people caricaturize the opposition in an effort to make clear their point of view
But the very nature of that sentiment proposes a conflict
Because it is the person you want most to hear your message
That you have now isolated
To frame your idea in a way that even the staunchest of pundits could feel comradery
That is the challenge of participation
Because I am How I feel
And I feel What I do
When I do what I love
And I love how I speak
When I speak
Then I see
And I understand man, I understand
Because I am
I am what I feel
And I feel what I do
When I do what I love
And I love how I speak
And I speak what I see
And I understand man
I understand
When I speak
When I speak
Because I am what I feel
And I feel What I do
When I do what I love
then I love how I speak
What I speaks what I see
So I understand man
I understand
Can I see what I speak?
When I speaks what I love
Then I’ll love what I do
And I’ll do how I feel
Is that me?
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10. |
Method to My Madness
05:36
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(If theres a method to my madness, yo that aint madness.
No that aint madness no that aint madness)
Mad is when you’re hearing things seeing things feeling things
Beyond me
That shits beyond me
But I don’t want to fold myself so strongly upon me so strongly like origami
Cranes that my homie used to make from around the
way I see it I could stare at a paper taped figure to the ceiling
it would not remove the feeling that these feelings are way way past my sorry ass
And at last. Long last
I have capped all the racks of the jars from my past I was jarring and its totally appalling
Before I start with the falling understand that I am all in always
And I am not mad
Only mad-ish
Im tryna be more healthy like a raddish but some days are like a bad hit
And I just need to sit
Holy shit (holy shit holy shit)
Give my life a nice spin
Let the lights dim
Exhale regrets
Yeah you bet I breath life in
Sometimes I think its not the right thing
But I am right here clearly
I swear we really reared this off course life force really rarely fears the wrong choice
Wrong choice like a Bandersnatch
Coming back to haunt you
At least the demons want you
Nothings scarier than ghosting
Phoning a friend
But it’s the dial tone the other end
Most folks never say what they meant
Most meant to enhance their own ends
Even if only subconsciously
This is probably the reason for your grief
And the reason why I speak facts
Like a maddow
But I am mad though yo, I am not mad
(If theres a method to my madness, yo that aint madness.
No that aint madness no that aint madness)
Everything is criticized everythings politicized
No representation in this land of taxation
Don’t expect the government to cater to the population
Were just residents
And imma never trust a president man
Orange is the new black
America loves prisons well im about to take my cell back
Im about to take myself back
And this
Is this methodical?
I only know my every obstacle once i digest all possible, probable and even seemingly illogical
Cause and effectively fester in a withering hole
The world feelsso cold
But I still do what she told, she still scolds me mother earth
(I’m telling mom)
You see
The problem is you’ve got the very question wrong
That is not mad and this is not madness
This is genius above average
Total package and a basket case… wait
I always step on the toes of every point I make way for a sleight of fate
I cant even trust my own eyes
Sometimes I swear that I’m televised.
But if life was like the Truman show
They’d probably have to cancel mine
I swear I’m breaking walls that I fucking pantomimed
I spent a lot of time concerned that the world might be burning while I’m earning my stripes
And that’s great
But it isn’t something I can escape
Hiding in the dark with my warriors cape
Draped over my shoulder while I shoulder the weight
What a wonderful day
I moved the clutter from the closet and I tossed it
I don’t need it im positive
I thought I’d lost it when I lost it
But I found that even sound
Can be quelled by the sound of heart
And my heart is so sound
It will be sown to me now
And I promised I wont ever let myself go, not alone
I found home in my poem and when the world seems all too bitter
I throw up my middle finger and I bring me back
Back to the back of my mind
Thick shell like a tortoise
Deep roots like the forest
All together like the chorus
Imma let this music through like im porous
Never changing principles like zach morris
No home like a tourist
Im often fucked just like a whore is
But imma do this shit just right like the porridge
Of a goldilocks third try
See life with my third eye
Got force like the jedi
Im up all night like the redeye
Keep flight with my birds eye view I am perched above all of you
And what a landscape rugged and small just like my fanbase
Higher still than the andes. A rapper holding sweet facts back like a candy
Sometimes im just ranting
Never really learned to relax get this chimp off my back but fuck it im back
And I am not mad
I am no rat trapped with no fall back’
Not surprised they never call back
Eventually the venting frees the steam and I lower the pressure from all the festering
I tried my best not every second needs requestioning its maddening
So I ask madden then what play to make
Have my cake and ill eat it too.
Fuck your opinion yo you can keep it
Just know that folks will say they love you and not understand the half
Because they cant grasp all the demons or the pain from out your past
And if youre strong you throw them demons on your back
They’ll whisped life is such a tragedy
But youll say its not that bad.
But yall cant stay in my life and call them demons a cab
Imagine if you could deal with all your struggles like that
That’d be woogity woogity woogity woogity RAAD
Like rocket power yo my lifes been a blast
They’re asking how’d you get to where youre at
I told em followed a path
That’s not a cop out it isn’t a test
The very reason you felt hexed will be the reason your blessed
See it was obvious I wasn’t the rest and goddamn it that was crippling It felt in my chest
And I confess that I still do sometimes
But I found love I know ill never be alone because im home when the world lends me the words for these poems and I zone. And fuck it I am not mad. I really want to finally let go of that
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11. |
Get Outta Town!
04:58
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But look at me im flying free
Anything my heart conceives
I can have eventually
I just have to keep belief
I know I’ve got to eat
So I’ll make that food if front of me
(Get Outta town!)
I hear the nerve of these turds turn around
And these clowns wanna try to knock my world down
My earths firm from the soil down
Toil found way to my root too look at you
So assured that my pastures been greener than yours
Yo I’ve seen this before
This bitch nick thinks she queen of the earth but I am though
Wait nah
First bite and I taste raw
first take and I take off
Make soft threats in my ear let me hear dear
Speak clear and be earnest
Every word furnished with explicit nourishment
(meant) that differently
Wait did I miss it? …
Shit I wasn’t even listening
(Get outta town!)
I mean I knew you were observant, but I never heard you lay it down
Man I really think I get it now whos about to let me down
If I lift me
Trippy, I know right
That’s the formula to shine bright
You gotta make your own light
I see the beauty that some others missed
But you do too
I may move but im permanently close to few who shan’t be named
Because one hand shakes the same in my time frame
If its magnificent
Man tryna keep the balance is the tricky thing
Some conversations have an icky end
And though I still aint great
I heard they say my mind changed with my minds state
But im thankful for everything
Every friend
Every moment with bubbs
A tight hug or some tough love sometime I definitely need a good shove
Sometimes I get outta town it makes me wonder if yall really hear me now
We talk more from the shore states MD to MA
How’s that for wordplay.
My confidence was sure late to this stage, Lord thanks
Nah but honestly this feeling is better than ecstasy
Because its eclectic and it came from the very restless plexus
That felt my idling would be my famous death wish
Its all precious
But this may work I gotta test it
The first test is the risk
A bold move brewed from a mood of finally letting loose
Of the reigns of my brain I had to stop
And not do anything
And its true that I didn’t feel insane
But I don’t really think that I felt anything
And that’s lame man I’d rather be ashamed than a straight plane shame to the flawed game
Sooooo
These could be the very best days
Or I could wind me up ( and I could wind me up…)
In the direction that I started in the first place
You first lace your shoes
Then you face you muse
And you tell your muse that you’ve seen the truth
And if they aren’t amused you tell em’
(Get outta town!) (woh)
Freedom with an eerie touch
Explain to me the meaning of the feeling love
Because I don’t see this peeling apart the way I look at your art
Or what I see in the dark
Because if I wrote you a card.
It’d be too hard not to fill all parts
You don’t gotta know everything yo that’s nosier than aardvarks
Of course I love where I came from but whats wrong with loving both parts
Like soft serve twisted
Or
Soft words served twisted
In a riveting blend so many friends and dependable, respectable, intelligible
Fellas and gals
A huge crowd of my proud pals
That im proud of too
Boston this ones for you
My wheels started turning from you
So now im off to try and see it through
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12. |
Merit
09:56
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13. |
Mr.Robusto
05:35
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And I said thank you very much though mr robusto
How could I hide
How could I hide
How could I
When I know I, I know
But I said thank you very much though mr robusto
And I said how could I hide from these eyes in the front row
Well whats there to discuss yo youre drooling out your mouth flows the incoherent babble of a baby shaking rattles or a tattle tale. First words he said…
I speak
It was ironic, his first experience with phonics and he was hooked on it
What he meant was. I will lead this to fruition like the light escapes the prism
But he never had the gusto
Trust yo he could handle the whole nights load
But when it came to human skin that was more like wearing tight clothes and it showed he was uncomfortable
And I said thank you very much though mr robusto
Thank you very much though mr robusto
And I said thank you very much
And I said
How could I hide from these eyes in the front row
Kind of like the double slit
In his experiments, I mean experience
The data always depended on the observation there within
That never seemed to be the part that his heart feared.
Something about giving a throat to an oak tree
But when you looked closely that was more a weeping willow
Yea he tapers off
estinto
See the thing is yo you always kept your vocals in the mix low.
Hella robust but if you never have the gusto
Rusto
So whats with all the fuss yo.
No one forced you to this light show
And while youre hiding in the back they sent imposters to the front row
No I know I know I know
No no I know
No I
I know
You know what else
I know I know
You know what else
I know why I know
So know I know when I say I know
And know I know why I said I know
What I sayI know
Because I know why I said what I said I know
Even with no eyes I know I’d know
Nobody understands I because there is no I, I know
There is no I because nobody understands I.
I know I know
(I know I I know I know…)
Look I don’t feel beholden to you, the individual
And I will not be holden catching rye
Fucking miserable
But I said thank you very much though mr robusto
Because I know what I have to do
So I Got you
Because I got to
When you come through
Because you undo
And I know I
So I said thank you very much though mr robusto
Because I got to
And I said thank you ver much though mr robusto
How could I hide how could I hide
That’s enough yo
Its difficult I know to speak truth because it reeks through
And I just wanted to be peaceful
Agreed
Still youre ignoring the conflict
If words promised through truth become lipstitched
Then word vomit from slooths
Becomes scripted
And that’s one hell of a difference because youre scared of the light
Choking on your smoke screens that smoke became the whole scene
And slowly covered you skin like lotion
Climbing down your cheek
To your tongue
To your throat
And your lungs
Then you choke and your done
And its back to the sun
Like mr Im like im like mr robusto…
Domo arigato though.
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14. |
Rewrite
02:51
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fuck it ill just write the whole thing again..
whats a filled page to poet but another moment with the pen.
Besides I didnt write all of that, it was the ghosts that follow me.
A little sucker for the truth so the mayflies collared me.
I used to get pissed when i lost a sheet.
couldnt believe that id act so irresponsibly with what i valued as a part of me.
I would turn the room inside out, scrambling.
Now ive filled 12 books with rants and im jamming them in a box shit this makes me look manic,
theres more than a few steps, on the road to enlightment from panic.
I keep the words like a track to my past,
I like to listen and laugh because im so past half of that I feel foolish,
unripe, unkempt, unpolished.
Not to say that ill ever feel flawless.
So fuck it, illl write the whole thing again....scrap that crap because facts are verbatim,
am i poet or an engineer. oh dear,
i mean honestly why is it the things the mostly bother me are thinking that id lose a thought i spent a day or two following.
Like i could somehow lose this fuse, its a birth right.
you can tell me i dont hear, i dont listen, i dont learn right. But i will never accept that i could lose this breath, because spitting MY truths the only time ive felt blessed.
And crating a tunes, the only thing that ever made me feel proud of me.
even though its never really validated, musics been the thing i got to work at and i let me soul orches-trate it.
Even the thesis cant compare, although its close because i finally got to show that being creative, is good for the science of the world
and thats the way id like to shape it. act patient, but deep down i know all this logic is a hoax, so im the ghost in the shell while some folks go to hell ill alone in the cell, that i made for myself named and framed with the self.
One day i chose to draw a happy face, Im here anyway i might as well participate. quiet observer. often noted as a lurker is noting as he furthers the passion of his murmur. But he talks in tongues
So Ill write the whole thing again... I refuse to think that im a little piece,
a little peace and im fine to see the world is just reflections from the depths of me.
I like to imagine its a never ending rap of mine.
I could write the whole thing again, and then again, and again and again.......
just like all of this im cyclic.
Straight ahead but i see in all angles, the bishop.
more focused on periphery, thats that wide eye'd kid in me.
Been done kicking me im working on the finishing
touches, in touch with the the stars, and repugnant. I want to show this love what love is, as if i only ever knew one thing. But i cant figure how to type it, and when i do...
ill just write the whole thing again,
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Subtle Keystrokes & Prof. Mayfy Baltimore, Maryland
Subtle Keystrokes:
improvisational pianist and producer
Prof. Mayfly
lyricist/rapper/vocalist
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